Chapter 46

Hayden wanted to spend the rest of the night with Eleanor, making sure her sister was okay. She probably would have, except that her entire plan for travel to Sunyshore involved keeping Julian from finding out. If he did, he would probably insist on going, leaving her powerless to refuse.

She could keep her head down and pretend to be no one of significance—Mew House had no intention of allowing the heir to the Johto Mews to do so, let alone in an unfamiliar region ruled by another house. They would need to make a formal diplomatic visit, and the process of months to arrange every aspect of the exchange.

That meant spending her night with Julian as usual. That time it meant flying through the canopy above his treehouse, with the young heir spending the whole visit showing off how much Aerie's powers of flight had grown. Impressive growth for such a short time, but Hayden had trouble mustering her usual enthusiasm. Back in her bedroom, her sister was in serious distress, and it was all her fault.

With an ordinary person, her act would be good enough. Hayden's months with the Great Families had taught her to keep up appearances like a pro!

Julian noticed in an hour. He caught her in both wrists, though part of that was probably just to keep himself balanced. His daemon was the one who could fly, after all. There was no way for the two of them to share responsibilities like Liz and Hayden did.

"I thought you loved flying, Haydie. You said when we learned, we could race."

She nodded, tilting them upside-down in the air, hoping that might distract him. Without gravity, there was no trouble keeping her skirt from turning the wrong way—nothing pulled them down. "We did race! I'm having fun!"

He shoved against her shoulder, releasing her wrist. "Yeah? Is that why you lost three times in a row? I can tell when people let me win, but that's just… lame."

She trailed behind him, not sure if he was trying to fly away from her, or just not in control of his position. Either way, she kept the same distance between them. "It's nothing to do with you, Julian. I was looking forward to your first time up here. You're catching up with me so fast!"

Aerie caught him against the trunk of a tree, landing on his shoulder to hold him steady. And importantly, to stay out of reach of Liz. Their usual play couldn't continue if she might accidentally touch the wrong human. A few weeks spending time together had not got them to the same trust they shared with Cody. 

"Then what is it? It's my house, Haydie. If someone's bothering you, I can make them stop. I can tell Ilene; she'll do anything I ask."

Hayden stopped without the tree, stretching sideways in the air in front of him. Laying unsuspended there felt as natural to her as it might to recline on a comfortable sofa—maybe more, since not all furniture was so comfortable. Lots used rough fabric, which would inevitably leave her skin irritated and uncomfortable.

"It's me. I accidentally hurt someone earlier today. I'm not sure… how badly."

"A servant?" he suggested. "That's one of the reasons they keep me away from everybody. Commoners are delicate. Their minds are so simple, their bodies are fragile. If you push too hard…" He gestured to one side, and a thick branch snapped off the tree, tumbling down with a curtain of still-living leaves. "But that's okay! We have lots of servants, I'm sure Ilene knows it wasn't on purpose. She'll replace whoever it was."

"No! Yes! I mean…" She kept her distance. Liz was braver, floating over to Aerie's perch, and pawing at her back, obviously trying to prompt the little pokémon up again. "You can't replace people, Julian. They have families somewhere, friends, maybe kids. They have a whole life to live, one you might ruin if you hurt them bad enough."

Julian shrugged. "I… guess so. Technically. But how long is that, really? Fifty years? Sixty? There's so many of them, millions and millions, and they're already dying all the time. I'm sure whatever you did wasn't that bad. The others will forget soon enough."

Liz pulled away from his daemon, circling back to Hayden's shoulder. What she meant to say, her defense of the accident and how little harm she meant—all fell away into something much more frightening. "When I was little, I was a commoner too. Didn't we talk about that? Liz was gonna be a sylveon one day. I would've been the proudest human in the whole world. No one ever thought I would be a mew—what if somebody broke me back then? What if I died?"

He started sinking—whether out of growing exhaustion, or as a reaction to her words, she couldn't say. Soon enough they settled onto the treehouse balcony. Well, he did. She floated on the other side, just past the railing.

"You were special. I think even back then, I could tell. Mew don't think like other people. And legendaries don't think like commoners. It's something different about our brain. Something…" He gestured vaguely at his head. Aerie, meanwhile, lifted off his shoulder, towards Liz. But it was Hayden's daemon avoiding her now. "Besides, once someone settles, they'll never be anything else. I'm sure whoever you hurt was settled too. You didn't hurt a legendary by mistake."

She wasn't about to show Julian her memory of the event—that would include part of her growing feelings for Julian, which she couldn't bear to share with the young heir. But instead of showing the whole event, she could show him just a few seconds—enough for the young mew to feel the depth of Hayden's loyalty to Eleanor, built over months in Shaymin House. Months of shared suffering, of compassion and neglect and rivalry and heartbreak.

Unlike before, there was no danger she would accidentally fry the mew's brain. Cruel or callous, he was right about one thing—their minds did work differently.

He still stumbled away from her, slumping down into the balcony chair. He stared off into the jungle, eyes no longer focused on anything. Aerie slumped into his lap, not even hovering anymore. Her tail curled around his wrist, and he said nothing.

The mew was silent for so long, Hayden landed on the balcony beside him, straightening her dress. She waited in awkward silence, avoiding looking at him.

It did no good, of course. Kittens or not, their emotions would flow back and forth even if they were both sitting in nearby sensory deprivation tanks. 

At least until she changed. The swirl of resentment, guilt, anger, and confusion coming from Julian might collapse her—but eevee couldn't read emotions. Even in her distress, Hayden had taken to transforming all her clothes along with her body these days, or at least creating illusions that did the same thing.

Her ears got big, her dress changed to the casual skirt and stockings preferred by merchant girls in Whitestone, along with a long ponytail instead of the intricate mew braid.

"That friendship—that's my big sister, Eleanor. She's a common pokémon, but I love her. She feels the same stuff we do. She even knows politics and history and acting fancy way better than I do. If I really hurt her forever, I'd never forgive myself. I'd cry even more knowing that there's no one back home to care that she was gone."

The thought made her start right there. As a mew Hayden cared about looking dignified—as an eevee, she broke down into sobs right in front of him, pulling Liz into both arms and squeezing the little fox like a toy. The warm fur helped, like usual. But Liz felt all the same things about Loch, so it also got worse.

Without his emotions joining hers, Hayden was left with Julian's words, his tense voice and the slightly unhappy scent of his daemon. "You feel all that for a commoner," he said. "Would you cry like that if you hurt me?"

She nodded feebly, struggling to meet his eyes. Her own tears blurred through her face, smearing makeup all over herself. The illusion hid all that, but it couldn't wash away the powders and ink physically rubbed into her skin. "Do you wanna see that too? How I see you?"

The heir shook his head sharply, pulling Aerie closer into his lap. "My mom says… you should never do that, not until you feel safe touching their daemon. Before that, it only causes heartbreak. It was wrong for you to show me that, Hayden. You didn't ask. Am I really supposed to believe that every commoner can feel all this? Ilene tells me what they're really like, and so do my parents. Yours was just… an exception! Your sister is the failure from Shaymin House—obviously that's why she's like this. She learned to copy them. That's what ditto do."

He stood up straight, looming over her. He gripped her shoulder with one hand, without any of his usual affection. "Admit you were wrong. Admit she's just copying—those are all your feelings. Commoners aren't really like that."

Why couldn't she calm herself down? Being an eevee wasn't her best idea—maybe it was her worst. But whenever the world got out of control, this was the one future she knew was waiting for her. She would be a fox like her family, make them all proud. If Hayden wanted to change into something else, she could. But when she got this scared, she didn't want to, even with an older mew looming over her.

"I'm sorry," she stammered. "I should've… asked." She slipped out of his grip, landing on her knees in front of him. "I just wanted you to see! What you're saying about them… just because they're not as big or strong… they're still people Julian! They have daemons just like us! They feel happy and sad and scared…"

She pulled her knees up to her chest, tucking herself against the wall as small as she could. "You've changed into them now. You know how it feels! That's what it's like to be them! Not that different!"

"You're lying! They aren't like us!" He clenched both hands into fists. Instead of advancing on her, he spun around, turning his back to her. "Ilene, I don't want to see Hayden right now. Send her away."

Maybe if Hayden was still a mew, she would've seen the servant reappear. Instead, she could only feel it—the flash of cold, compression from all around her, and she was back in her bedroom.

Ilene stood beside her now, remaining out of reach. She looked down on Hayden with an expression as unreadable as the mew who had just banished her. "I will still plan on our trip tomorrow morning, young mistress. Given what just transpired, the timing may be more opportune than either of us anticipated. I would ask you what you could possibly have been thinking with that display. Yet I remind myself, you were not chosen for your breeding, or your insight into human behavior. How far this world has decayed that you are the best new blood we can find to infuse Mew House."

She vanished, leaving Hayden sobbing on the floor.

For a few seconds, anyway. Something moved in the darkness, and a pair of arms lifted her up, then settled her into her biggest, most comfortable armchair. She settled down beside her with a damp cloth, then sponged away at the makeup streaking down her face. "Want to talk about it?"

She shook her head, suppressing another wave of sobs. Liz hopped up into her lap, nestling in against Eleanor’s chest. Her sister went suddenly still, staring down in shock at the nearby daemon. "Y-you’re…"

"There’s a brush on my nightstand," Hayden whispered. "The soft, rubber one. Could you go over her tail, please? That should… help us calm down."

Eleanor nodded nervously. She set the cloth down, then took the brush. "You… sure about this? Even if Loch and I…"

"You don’t have to trust me the same way," Hayden finished for her. "I wouldn’t, not after what I did earlier. Just… please."

"Okay." Eleanor wrapped one arm around the fox. After a little while, she could almost breathe again.